Patriarchy is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Riding While Female

My husband and I care deeply about the Earth and its health and viability. When I talk about my daughters reaching my age, I always add to the statement, “if the world is still livable." This may seem like doom and gloom, but it’s my personal way of knocking on wood, acknowledging the worst that can happen in hopes that it doesn’t. We all know that one way that we can help reduce our collective carbon footprint is to use public transportation on a regular basis. If you live in a city or even a suburb, this is something that’s likely available to you. It can be a very pleasant way to get around, seeing and meeting people from your community while getting where you need to go. You can get some steps in because it rarely goes to the exact address you need.

There’s one problem with public transportation as a viable climate change solution.

Public transportation has a dirty little secret. Women frequently feel unsafe on public transportation because so many of us have lived through sexual harassment, and even sexual terrorism. Riding while female prevents many of us from utilizing our public transportation systems.

Riding while female has always been a huge issue. Like every woman I know, I’ve been sexually harassed at bus stops since I was about 11 years old. My worst story took place ON the bus.

I was 18 years old and taking a bus to Annapolis from Baltimore. I’d never been on this bus route before. I had natural hair at the time which was very unusual in 1989. A man was sitting behind me on the bus and suddenly I started feeling his hand in my hair. I pulled away. He started making remarks about my hair. I moved seats closer to the bus driver. The man then started to go into graphic detail about how he was going to rape me when I got off of the bus. I looked to the bus driver through his mirror, hoping to catch his eye and feel some kind of safety. The bus driver just looked at me like, "Please, keep me out of it." The man was not alone; he had friends with him. This made me feel even less safe. He said that he had recently been released from prison, and wielded this as a threat.

Thankfully, he got off the bus well before my stop. When I got to Annapolis, I told the whole story to my boyfriend, Josh. After our date he spent what at that time was an exorbitant amount of money to put me in a cab to take me home.

Ironically, the cab driver lectured me on why I should not be dating a White boy, after I just had this harrowing bus trip, where a Brother threatened to rape me. But I was raised to be a polite young woman, and I just sat there and listened to his bullshit. Ah, the 80s! 🙄

Not a fun day. Tell me your stories of riding while female.